When I woke up on the morning of the 29th of January, 2009 I wasn't expecting to have the worst day of my career. I was actually looking forward to seeing my 6 year old boy off at his first day at school. Little did I know that it would be the horrific premature end for another's child who was also meant to be heading to school that day. Have a read about that here to get some perspective.
So as I was at the top of the bridge and looking down and the word came through that the body laying at the bottom was actually a child, that odd process of attempting to comprehend the incomprehensible began. I Don't ever expect to make complete sense of it.
What I just wanted to mention here is that this incident should be a clear beacon. A sharp sobering indicator about the heart that is inside of every one of us and the depths that it can sink to. Not in order to look at this from afar and judge the man. There has already been an abundance of that. But to reflect and look within and perhaps recall the depths we have sunk to at times in our own lives. To be wary of and acknowledge our own internal impulses and weaknesses.
Some of the most striking parts of this story come from hearing that this man was not a monster nor was he psychotic. He was described as a loving father. He was 35, Caucasian, worked in IT and lived in upper middle suburbia. Yet a specific set of circumstances were put before him and this horrific outcome was the result.
Surely at some point should we not ask ourselves: what are my 'set of circumstances'? What would lead me to such a dark place?
I believe it's these types of questions to ourselves and this analysis of ourselves that leads us not to judge others and assists in the process of forgiveness towards those we thought we could never forgive.
This kind of forgiveness is what I think of when I contemplate the words 'take up your cross and follow me'. Those piercing words told by the one who walks the walk. The one who looks us square in the eye when we try and cop out and say "but I can't" and says "I already did!"
9 comments:
Josh, I just called to see how you were and spoke to Carolyn.
Praying for you. I hope you can find a place of peace in yourself after witnessing what you did. You're right - Jesus already did it. That's the miracle of grace.
I'll call you tomorrow when you're home.
Hi Josh, just came over here from Heather's.
The whole deal is heartbreaking and my heart is breaking for that man. For that poor little girl of course - of course - I keep wondering what her last thoughts were and her fear - but my heart breaks for him, for the reasons that you have stated. None of us can say that we would never do something like this.
I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I was going to say I don't know how people cope with seeing things like this, but the answer to that dilemma is the answer to all our dilemmas, no matter how pat that sounds. I'm glad that you know Him so that you can take solace in him.
Thanks Heather I'll wait for the call.
Thanks to you too Sue for your thoughts. Excuse the messy, scattered thoughts. I was using my blog as a therapeutic tool today.
Thanks for sharing. That was a beautiful reflection on a horrible tragedy.
Thanks Angela it means a lot.
Oh dear. :( That's just...there are no words.
Thanks Shelly. That's what happens when I think about it...I don't say anything because it's beyond words.
Apart from the content of your story, what has the header image of this post got to do with the heart?
If you came upon a tortured tied up human being with a crown of thorns pushed into his or her head your heart would recoil in horror.
For Anonymous. Hmmm, I guess I was using the picture to point to the one I was talking about towards the end of the Blog. The one that stood ahead of us who bore the cross and forgives. The one who inspires me even in my own weakness to attempt to do the same.
It wasn't meant to be a fear or revulsion thing. But then again its art and it should mean different things to each that looks upon it. What does it say to you? How does it provoke your thinking?
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